So frustrated at poker

I spent the last 2 days slowly grinding. Up 250 over those days. Played perfect and felt great. Start a session tonight and lose 300 in an hr. 10 caps. I hate complaining about running bad. I lost every coinflip and every freaking hand. I'm sick of it. I felt like puking. I seriously am pissed. I never run hot. I used to be proud of the fact that I didnt tilt and wouldnt get mad about bad results. But over the passed 2 months I lost that and I cant handle it. I do everything I can. After a big losing session I take a few days off and grind back up and ofcourse it fucking happens again. I only started saving hands half way through but here are some beats I took tonight.

After looking them over again. I lost 6 straight times when I was 80% to win.

Equity-.80(60)=48*6=288
Actual winnings= -240

Thats 528 below equity. Not considering the 6 coin flips I lost and should have won atleast half right.

Looking at the numbers doesnt make me feel better. It actually makes me feel worse. If I was losing bc i was playing bad at least I could improve. I cant improve my luck.

I also have an unheathly addiction to checking tableratings. I try to be at the top of the lists for my limits etc and its really messing up my mental game.

At this point in the month I am down 600.(up 300 after rakeback and bonuses) Before today I was leading .5/1 for the month so thats a positive.My losses come from 1/2 where down over 2k. As I stated before I am only playing .5/1 for the rest of the month and starting tomorrow I am setting a stop loss at 200.

With school starting back I really dont want to waste my time playing poker. I dont enjoy it anymore. Its a job for me and one that over the past few months has not been that profitable. I have enough money to last a few months without cashing out but i still need to play to make some. I am mostly upset bc I had a false high from aug-mid nov. Where I was crushing the games making 3-4k a month and got so used to it and so used to the money coming in. I suppose I will have to start budgeting myself bc it looks like poker will not be a place for me make tons of money.

Other than poker my life is going great so I guess I shouldnt complain. Id rather not be winning at poker and have a great life then the opposite.

Here are the hands if anyone cares.

My AQ cant hold up vs A8 after the flop

Full Tilt Poker Game #10083208503: Table Coconino (6 max) - $0.50/$1 - $30 Cap No Limit Hold'em - 22:05:50 ET - 2009/01/16
Seat 1: AuntRuth53 ($103.50)
Seat 2: barbarycoast ($86.80)
Seat 3: dawg4177 ($89.15)
Seat 4: sabo999 ($166.35)
Seat 5: ghezghez ($43.70)
Seat 6: Wugget09 ($104.45)
barbarycoast posts the small blind of $0.50
dawg4177 posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to AuntRuth53 [Ah Qc]
sabo999 calls $1
ghezghez folds
Wugget09 calls $1
AuntRuth53 raises to $13
barbarycoast folds
dawg4177 calls $12
sabo999 folds
Wugget09 folds
*** FLOP *** [Th 9s 7d]
dawg4177 checks
AuntRuth53 bets $17, and is capped
dawg4177 calls $17, and is capped
AuntRuth53 shows [Ah Qc]
dawg4177 shows [As 8h]
*** TURN *** [Th 9s 7d] [3h]
barbarycoast: sabo...nothing to say when you keep catching on the river?
*** RIVER *** [Th 9s 7d 3h] [Js]
AuntRuth53 shows Ace Queen high
dawg4177 shows a straight, Jack high
dawg4177 wins the pot ($59.50) with a straight, Jack high
AuntRuth53 adds $26.50
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $62.50 | Rake $3
Board: [Th 9s 7d 3h Js]
Seat 1: AuntRuth53 (button) showed [Ah Qc] and lost with Ace Queen high
Seat 2: barbarycoast (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: dawg4177 (big blind) showed [As 8h] and won ($59.50) with a straight, Jack high
Seat 4: sabo999 folded before the Flop
Seat 5: ghezghez didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: Wugget09 folded before the Flop

AK cant hold up vs AJ after the flop

Full Tilt Poker Game #10083456098: Table H420420SanJose (6) - $0.50/$1 - $30 Cap No Limit Hold'em - 22:21:14 ET - 2009/01/16
Seat 1: AuntRuth53 ($116.35)
Seat 2: edduardog ($305.70)
Seat 5: RollinHand1 ($59.20)
Seat 6: DustinR1 ($31.30)
AuntRuth53 posts the small blind of $0.50
edduardog posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to AuntRuth53 [Kh Ad]
RollinHand1 raises to $3
DustinR1 calls $3
AuntRuth53 raises to $17
edduardog folds
bongerbob25 sits down
RollinHand1 calls $14
bongerbob25 adds $60
DustinR1 folds
*** FLOP *** [7s 9c 8c]
bongerbob25 is sitting out
bongerbob25 has returned
AuntRuth53 bets $13, and is capped
RollinHand1 calls $13, and is capped
AuntRuth53 shows [Kh Ad]
RollinHand1 shows [Js As]
*** TURN *** [7s 9c 8c] [5d]
*** RIVER *** [7s 9c 8c 5d] [Jc]
AuntRuth53 shows Ace King high
RollinHand1 shows a pair of Jacks
RollinHand1 wins the pot ($62) with a pair of Jacks
AuntRuth53 adds $13.65
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $64 | Rake $2
Board: [7s 9c 8c 5d Jc]
Seat 1: AuntRuth53 (small blind) showed [Kh Ad] and lost with Ace King high
Seat 2: edduardog (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: RollinHand1 showed [Js As] and won ($62) with a pair of Jacks
Seat 6: DustinR1 (button) folded before the Flop

KQ cant hold up vs Q9 after the flop

Full Tilt Poker Game #10083372542: Table Coconino (6 max) - $0.50/$1 - $30 Cap No Limit Hold'em - 22:16:03 ET - 2009/01/16
barbarycoast: QJ
Seat 1: AuntRuth53 ($100)
Seat 2: barbarycoast ($32.80)
Seat 3: dawg4177 ($95.25)
Seat 4: sabo999 ($244.65)
Seat 5: Rancor 420 ($91.40)
Seat 6: Wugget09 ($99.45)
Rancor 420 posts the small blind of $0.50
Wugget09 posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to AuntRuth53 [Ks Qs]
barbarycoast: unreal
AuntRuth53 raises to $3
barbarycoast folds
dawg4177 calls $3
sabo999 folds
Rancor 420 folds
Wugget09 folds
*** FLOP *** [Qd Jc 5c]
AuntRuth53 bets $5
sabo999: sick
dawg4177 raises to $27, and is capped
AuntRuth53 calls $22, and is capped
dawg4177 shows [Qh 9c]
AuntRuth53 shows [Ks Qs]
*** TURN *** [Qd Jc 5c] [Tc]
*** RIVER *** [Qd Jc 5c Tc] [7c]
dawg4177 shows a flush, Jack high
AuntRuth53 shows a pair of Queens
dawg4177 wins the pot ($58.50) with a flush, Jack high
AuntRuth53 adds $30
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $61.50 | Rake $3
Board: [Qd Jc 5c Tc 7c]
Seat 1: AuntRuth53 showed [Ks Qs] and lost with a pair of Queens
Seat 2: barbarycoast didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: dawg4177 showed [Qh 9c] and won ($58.50) with a flush, Jack high
Seat 4: sabo999 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: Rancor 420 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: Wugget09 (big blind) folded before the Flop

9s cant beat q high after the flop

Full Tilt Poker Game #10083220848: Table Tilton (6 max) - $0.50/$1 - $30 Cap No Limit Hold'em - 22:06:37 ET - 2009/01/16
Seat 1: Stackitup777 ($0), is sitting out
Seat 2: sbobet ($77.60)
Seat 3: clinton10 ($66.15)
Seat 4: hot_wheelz_8 ($94.40)
Seat 5: AuntRuth53 ($156.50)
Seat 6: Leutscher ($48.45)
Leutscher posts the small blind of $0.50
sbobet posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to AuntRuth53 [9s 9c]
clinton10 calls $1
hot_wheelz_8 folds
AuntRuth53 raises to $19
Leutscher calls $18.50
sbobet folds
clinton10 folds
*** FLOP *** [Ad Ks 8c]
Leutscher checks
AuntRuth53 bets $11, and is capped
Leutscher calls $11, and is capped
AuntRuth53 shows [9s 9c]
Leutscher shows [Qd 7d]
*** TURN *** [Ad Ks 8c] [2d]
*** RIVER *** [Ad Ks 8c 2d] [Qh]
AuntRuth53 shows a pair of Nines
Leutscher shows a pair of Queens
Leutscher wins the pot ($59) with a pair of Queens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $62 | Rake $3
Board: [Ad Ks 8c 2d Qh]
Seat 1: Stackitup777 is sitting out
Seat 2: sbobet (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: clinton10 folded before the Flop
Seat 4: hot_wheelz_8 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: AuntRuth53 (button) showed [9s 9c] and lost with a pair of Nines
Seat 6: Leutscher (small blind) showed [Qd 7d] and won ($59) with a pair of Queens

AQ lost to A9 with a 9 hit the river

Full Tilt Poker Game #10083356614: Table Nettie (6 max) - $0.50/$1 - $30 Cap No Limit Hold'em - 22:15:04 ET - 2009/01/16
Seat 1: sbobet ($180.45)
Seat 2: gofish2419 ($0), is sitting out
Seat 3: AuntRuth53 ($100)
Seat 4: svkodiak ($91.85)
Seat 5: edduardog ($87.90)
Seat 6: Wugget09 ($108.50)
AuntRuth53 posts the small blind of $0.50
svkodiak posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to AuntRuth53 [Qh Ad]
edduardog folds
Wugget09 folds
sbobet folds
AuntRuth53 raises to $2
svkodiak calls $1
*** FLOP *** [Ah 5h 7d]
AuntRuth53 bets $2
svkodiak calls $2
*** TURN *** [Ah 5h 7d] [Ts]
AuntRuth53 bets $5
svkodiak has 15 seconds left to act
svkodiak calls $5
*** RIVER *** [Ah 5h 7d Ts] [9c]
AuntRuth53 has 15 seconds left to act
AuntRuth53 bets $13
svkodiak raises to $21, and is capped
AuntRuth53 calls $8, and is capped
*** SHOW DOWN ***
svkodiak shows [As 9d] two pair, Aces and Nines
AuntRuth53 mucks
svkodiak wins the pot ($57) with two pair, Aces and Nines
AuntRuth53 adds $30
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $60 | Rake $3
Board: [Ah 5h 7d Ts 9c]
Seat 1: sbobet (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: gofish2419 is sitting out
Seat 3: AuntRuth53 (small blind) mucked [Qh Ad] - a pair of Aces
Seat 4: svkodiak (big blind) showed [As 9d] and won ($57) with two pair, Aces and Nines
Seat 5: edduardog didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: Wugget09 didn't bet (folded)

JJ lost to 6s

Full Tilt Poker Game #10083833664: Table Rigney (6 max) - $0.50/$1 - $30 Cap No Limit Hold'em - 22:44:24 ET - 2009/01/16
Seat 1: AuntRuth53 ($103.20)
Seat 2: cascadeur07 ($50.10)
Seat 3: svkodiak ($199.95)
Seat 4: footinurass ($93.60)
Seat 5: Wugget09 ($55.90)
Seat 6: DonnyKidd ($104.50)
DonnyKidd posts the small blind of $0.50
AuntRuth53 posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to AuntRuth53 [Js Jh]
cascadeur07 calls $1
svkodiak folds
footinurass calls $1
Wugget09 folds
DonnyKidd calls $0.50
AuntRuth53 raises to $15
cascadeur07 calls $14
footinurass folds
DonnyKidd folds
*** FLOP *** [9h 6d Ah]
AuntRuth53 bets $15, and is capped
cascadeur07 calls $15, and is capped
AuntRuth53 shows [Js Jh]
cascadeur07 shows [6s 6c]
*** TURN *** [9h 6d Ah] [Qd]
*** RIVER *** [9h 6d Ah Qd] [3h]
AuntRuth53 shows a pair of Jacks
cascadeur07 shows three of a kind, Sixes
cascadeur07 wins the pot ($59) with three of a kind, Sixes
AuntRuth53 adds $26.80
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $62 | Rake $3
Board: [9h 6d Ah Qd 3h]
Seat 1: AuntRuth53 (big blind) showed [Js Jh] and lost with a pair of Jacks
Seat 2: cascadeur07 showed [6s 6c] and won ($59) with three of a kind, Sixes
Seat 3: svkodiak didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: footinurass folded before the Flop
Seat 5: Wugget09 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: DonnyKidd (small blind) folded before the Flop